02:04

A continuous becoming
June 1, 2018
Square pegs
June 8, 2018

02:04

02:04

It’s Monday again and I’m honestly not ready for it, my weekend was unfulfilling and very sad, like honestly where do these weekends go? Why do they run off so fast? I’d have to bear five days for two days off? C’mon!! I can’t even sleep. I know I’m complaining but honestly I need to speak with whoever made this weekend rule thingy, I want to understand it.

 

Well I don’t know what this post is about or why I felt compelled to write this but I had this whirlwind of thoughts and made this poem, enjoy;

 

Baby,

I can’t talk to you of loneliness

Because you’re in the room

You would not understand

I can’t explain to you that

“I got you ” sounds like quiet

Quiet and empty, echoing walls

I can’t explain to you helplessness

Because you simply cannot understand

I can’t tell you that wrapping me in your arms

Just make them scream louder and hit me harder

 

Baby,

Am I only visible to you with the lights off or dimmed

Most times I think I’m just another body to you

That the closest you’d ever get is inside me not beside and through me

That you’d only want me on my back

On my knees

Because me drenched in melancholic emptiness and questioning my existence is too much for you

Not what you signed up for

I fear that my clothes are most arousing when they leave my body

That you like me breathing heavy and in gasps

My voice in screams, sweat dripping down my back

Because me speaking – my story, my views, my beliefs, my passion, my pain – is flippant

Because my natural is unnatural

And that the colors I’m drenched in albeit my own are far too dark in some places and light in some places and NO! that’s not what you expect or want

 

Baby,

You’ve never seen me naked

Or have you

The curves of my body shape a question

One I’ve tried a million ways to find

I’ve bled into pages

Spewed out possible answers on skin, in actions, in gestures, on paper

And for this answer I’m trying to find you give me magic words as you try to put me under your spell

I say your “thank you” will never be enough

I’m sorry will never repair, please won’t reverse

That your “I’ll do anything” and that “I will change” will never be the truth

 

Baby,

I feel like you cannot carry me

That your feet give way

From the weight of the wholeness of myself

That you underestimate the strength of a rose

That you picked at my petals and have injured every single one of them

And that you want to sit and absolve yourself

But I have thorns

I will prove all your thoughts wrong

And that question

I will find the answer to

 

Love and warmth,

 

 

10 Comments

  1. Fuego says:

    You always manage to make me feel what you’re feeling every time. I hope your week brings you lots of joy. You go girl!!

  2. Blue says:

    The beauty of this post is so captivatingπŸ˜°πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“…

    You’re so awesome😊

  3. Agboola Titilayo Deborah says:

    I feel like you speaking to me
    πŸ˜₯πŸ˜₯πŸ˜₯

  4. Fuego says:

    The message in this is so strong

  5. Lily says:

    Wow! Just wow

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

%d bloggers like this: