“Square peg in a round hole” is an idiomatic expression which describes the unusual individual who could not fit into a niche of their society. It is mainly used to describe someone as different.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve felt different…I’ve always felt like I was the wrong size for like forever, like I was out of place like a trader that forgot her wares at home and came to the market to end up counting the would-have been customers that passed by her stall.
It was confirmed by the glares or pity glances from certain people, not that I had any doubts that I was different but I got further validation at points when someone back then said, “why are your legs so hairy? In fact why are you so hairy? Shave jor, look at the legs of girls in this class, compared to them, you look like a gorilla” or boys/men coming on to me because their fetish was hairy girls and they wanted to know if I kept it hairy down there…when someone commented on my eyes cause one looks bigger than the other, I had thought it was an honest question till the group of people in the party started laughing and mimicking my eyes and my response…when people laughed at me when I smiled or laughed because my gums (that were not as dark as I desired 😓) were all out. I carried a massively heavy blanket of shame around and I tried everything I could think of not to be different and fit in (this was my let me shave my whole body time, the hairs still came back in one week and in two weeks, it’d look like I didn’t even try…it was also the time I practiced my smile so my gums wouldn’t show and etc).
Being different has caused me considerable stress and upset – well until a few years ago. Truth is you’re equally as special and everyone is oppressed (though not equally) and disturbed by things you know about and things you don’t know about. Despite my experiences growing into adulthood, our differences are a good thing.
The problem comes when we hide our differences to fit in. What makes (and keeps) you square or even determines your squareness (is this a thing??) is your refusal to change shape and your acceptance of being out of place because there’s nothing that has been (or will be) created to label you…because honestly, you’re more than that!
Do I think that square pegs or people who identify as such (you know different and misunderstood) are meant a certain responsibility to greatness?? Well the concept for me is a funny one – I won’t go deep into this but I find it funny how we just think that since the universe made us different, it’s because we’re supposed to do something extraordinary and the world would know our names and be at our feet so we make everyone else uncomfortable as we embark on this quest to be extraordinary…now I didn’t say the different won’t be great or do extraordinary things, I’m just saying I find it funny and that it doesn’t always happen like that. While the idea is super and I like it, I’m saying that there’s many ways to be square, many ways to be an individual and not all of us unusuals get to shine (big ups to the ones that stay representing though).
Being a square peg might be an affront to the way the society is constructed but it also means living with consequences.
In the wake of normalizing the term “weirdo” and using it in the different forms that it’s been used today, I hope there is an understanding and an acknowledgement of the sort of journey it has been and that it is not an after school club that’s to be joined and left(there’s been a spike in joining bandwagons lately).
And to you that is termed square peg, accept it! Own and stay in it for your own personal freedom and truth…light the way for others that are coming.
Love and warmth,
As much as I’d like to excuse myself by stating all the stress I’m currently under, I’d rather not and simply apologize for posting late. I made two posts to make up for it (read the other one here)…forgive me? And please leave me your comments below. Don’t forget to like and share. New here? Read about me and please subscribe…love and warmth.
Photography || Kehinde Michael
Equipment (someone asked) || My phone 😁 if it wasn’t obvious (Tecno K9)